Marriage Story

If you are me, you are not a morning person. As soon as you open your eyes in the morning, into your head come rushing the events of the previous night in most spectacular detail, then the events of the past week, followed by those of last 5 years, and finally your whole life — all crunched into a script that you are not interested in reading, delivered so abruptly and so unforgivingly as if there was no other way to orient you and set context. As you calm down and make yourself a cup of tea, all you want to do is dodge but fail, then block and say, “ I know this already, just let me be”.

You gradually warm yourself up with light exercise and tune into Guided Meditation with Deepak hoping you’ll glide into the day smoothly, knowing all the while that you are not prepared for the harsh sunlight of the post- breakfast till lunch time period.

Each day as the sun sets, he returns your superpowers that he takes without your permission every morning — as the moon rises, the muse returns coaxing you to write or paint, catching your attention with great ideas, and encourages you to take those acheivable baby steps, gaining your trust by promising to remain by your side through the rest of nights and days. Liar!

It is only when, my futile attempts to ground myself these past mornings were being interrupted by Adam Driver singing ‘Being Alive’ from Sondheim’s musical, Company, in my head – that I opened my eyes and decided to take note. Even amidst broad daylight.

When I first saw ‘Marriage Story’ , I was completely charmed by Charlie Barber, the genius theatre director who was polite and friendly, doted on his son and genuinely took care of the members of his company. The movie showed me how even his mother-in-law fawned over him and as the audience I bought in. But most of all, I loved Charlie for fighting hard to be a part of his young son’s growing up years. I loved him more for not giving up trying even when his young son clearly chose being with his mum.

After all, it is hard to hear of such commitment in these situations in real life where usually the inherent hurt of wounded egos turns into malice of unbelievable proportions and things quickly escalate to a point of non-reconciliation.

It required me to watch parts of the movie again to understand, how as muse of a brilliant director, Nicole becomes Charlie’s extension over the years, hoping to earn his love but only being taken for granted instead. It had never occurred to Charlie, who had come to depend on and draw inspiration largely from Nicole’s love, until ‘the rug was pulled from under his feet' that Nicole too needed to be ardently loved in return. How could these 2 different people reside in the same person ? How do relationships become so messy ? Charlie is not able to see till the end of the movie, how his actions contributed to the situation which he did not expect and was completely unprepared for. In his mind he has justifications for his own transgressions but is unable to allow room for the same by Nicole. Even when he sleeps with another woman, it is because his wife stopped sleeping with him.

But an aspect that will probably remain less discussed about is Nicole’s deep and enduring affection for Charlie, so magnanimously and tenderly downplayed by Scarlett Johansson.

It remained with me long after that even while knowing that Charlie is cheating on her, Nicole asks him for feedback on her performance that evening, even after feeling ‘defeated’ and ‘not-seen’, she genuinely congratulates Charlie when he wins the McArthur Grant, she never raises her voice no matter how mad Charlie is driving her, she orders food on his behalf in the midst of their divorce proceedings, she ties his undone shoelace even after they are divorced. One wonders that such kindness and steadfastness of love must have sprung from a secret vow that she must have taken early on in their relationship to protect Charlie from ever getting hurt again. She can only be spiteful to Charlie over the phone and assertive through her lawyer, always choosing to be amicable and non-confrontational with him in person. In fact, she stamps her own foot after speaking her mind on one occasion.

I was able to feel Nicole’s agony of being the ‘more loving one’ while hoping till the end that the divorce didn’t have to go through. In interviews, the director confirms that the movie is a love story underneath.

And yet, when you thought you lost all hope on Charlie, he unexpectedly redeems himself by confidently walking up on stage and pouring himself out while singing ‘Being Alive’. Did the divorce, finally shake him up a bit? Teach him to trust, open up a little ?

Adam’s moving rendition of the song, set me on a trail to find more about the director and the process behind the scenes. I discovered the movies that Noah Baumbach co-wrote with his now wife and frequent collaborator Greta Gerwig. Incidentally Noah co-wrote and co-directed Greta in the film, ‘Greenberg’ with his then wife, Jennifer Jason Leigh.

‘Marriage Story' is self-referential and metaphorical on so many counts – the director probably wrote the script as as a means of processing his own divorce, about a theatre director who started his career as an actor. Adam Driver, Scarlet Johansson act as actors. In being the more loving Nicole, Scarlet generously gives away - more screen time, the more charming, self-assured, self-sufficient parts of the whole that they are - to Adam Driver’s Charlie. Like she insists on not taking money from Charlie after the divorce, and allowing Charlie to equally be a part of their son’s life, will the Oscar – that they jointly deserve for this moving experience, end up in unfairly only with Adam ?

Scarlet’s Nicole may not mind it in the least, but I certainly will.