The Middle Ground

Dear Champa  The world is tainted by the lies and sins of mankind, yet you continue to bear the weight of Narada’s curse for a single lie you spoke. Fate seems to have been unfair to you, that you should still be punished for a trivial error when Ahalya, Mary Magdalene, Amrapali, Vasavadatta have all been ‘redeemed’ apparently and set free from their humiliations.  The Chameli, mogra and sadafulee, though friendly, simple and innocent, pale in your comparison. They adorn stone idols at temples, the dead at funerals, the barely alive at brothels, you participate neither in the sacred nor profane. When you bloom, your gaze fixed at the moon and stars, there is something about your quiet self-assuredness, that makes one pause for a while and take notice. By embracing your judgment so gracefully and humbly, you set an example for everyone who has been judged and condemned. You became one with the Creator’s purpose for you - to be yourself - fearlessly, unapologetically  May n...

of hugs and sighs, big sunglasses and smoke (and hash and dope) of friendships to die for (with friends to die with) of kindness and generosity amidst endless laughter and painful tears of anger bottled within (and love doled out by heaps) of loneliness and need, some desires and a little bit of greed of mistakes and learning and the poetry of e.e.cummings of pillion rides and old songs of dreams and celluloid, and a heart full of void of brave love with crazy, stupid men (for a pinch of vermillion and a dead fish) of sincere prayers and elusive peace (and the debt crisis in Greece) of breaths, both lost and found (and caught between kisses) for the sake of life dear, in between and of course, a certain yellow submarine

So that I remember later and can refer to it whenever required. On being asked to step up to the next level of accumulating possessions and becoming  another corporate carbon copy, I turned them down. I moved out of the organisation. I sent the parents packing homewards. I didn’t feel like I was ready. My spirit had given up, I felt so exhausted. I was tired of waiting - for things to be simpler, for natural awesomeness to be, for me not having to convince another why they should invest their time, energy and money on me. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I suddenly felt misunderstood by my family - Everybody was moving around with their own agenda built around their fragile ideas about security - financial, emotional, psychological and physical. Security is extremely essential for me too except for the little bit where we aren’t living authentically - doing what we really like to do, being relaxed and thereby kind, easy-going, humorous and there by automatic...

Its been 3 years now that I live in Chennai. The city stretches over a vast area and so where you live and where you work may be very far apart. A lot of people use the local train service to cover these long distances. Some of my most refreshing hours have been spent in a train carriage reflecting over thoughts and feelings while watching roads, cars, canals, building, the city flit by. A disgusting incident comes to mind. That day I was boarding a train from Nungambakkam. I heard the final whistle while booking the ticket.The next train would arrive a good 15-20 minutes later and I didn't want to wait for it on that hot, sultry afternoon. I hurtled down the steps and managed to climb into the vendor's cabin of the already-moving Tambaram bound train. A lot of people were standing as all the benches in the carriage had already been occupied. I caught a couple of breaths, relieved to have caught the train. Opposite to where I stood, a couple sat talking sweet nothings and...