Jab Jidd Pe Aa Gayi Parvati ...
Over the past 2 decades, among the many Hindu mythological stories, the one I have revisited over and over again is that of Mata Sati. And then Mata Parvati. Although this story is a symbolic description of the journey of the individual consciousness to merge with the Divine, it's wisdom remains inaccessible to most of us if the pangs of our modern love stories do not find atleast some psychological resolution in its carefully crafted nuances.
When I was younger, my mind imagined an alternative version with kinder outcomes for beloved Sati in which Mahadev tamed his unkempt hair, took a bath and put on decent clothes instead of his usual tiger/deer skin skirt held up by slithering serpents. In which he presented himself exactly like how Sati's parents had envisaged the husband of their youngest daughter to be.
This could have made the proud king Daksha, Sati's father change his opinion about our sky-clad, ash-smeared Bholenath whose residence alternates between the frozen Kailash and the burning Manikarnika Ghat.
It could finally make him look at Chandrashekhar whom his favorite daughter had come to love ardently - without deep-seated negative bias. After all, Neelkanth wasn't really against praying to Vishnu whom Daksha Prajapati worshipped. In fact he cared the least about Daksha's organised, systematic, rule-based civilization while holding deep reverence for Maha Vishnu.
And Mata Sati was happy to leave her comfortable palatial life and reside in the Kailasha with Mahadev. So it was just semantics and outward appearances. Surely such great love as that between the Father and Mother of this Universe would not mind such a trivial adjustment.
But Mahadev didn't change anything about himself. Not because he didn't love Sati or care about her parents. But because he cared very deeply and wished only for the veil of ignorance to be lifted from the eyes of his relatives. The absolute eternal truth can never shape shift to pander to short lived preferences and conveniences.
Mahadev didn't leave his abode and shift to the plains to make it easy for Sati, so she could be close to her sisters. He didn't abandon his bhoot and pret ganas to make Daksha Prajapati happy. He didn't comb his dreadlocks straight to impress his mother-in-law, Queen Prasuti. He didn't suddenly begin to participate in vedic rituals, homas and yajnas, forgoing his duty of helping souls crossover after death. He didn't bend over.
And this not bending over cost him dearly. It led to Mata Sati immolating, completely erasing herself to bring harmony between the 2 most important men in her life. The scriptures describe Shiva's ensuing grief vividly. He howls in pain as he dances the tremendous Tandav holding the corpse of his young, beloved wife while mocking the whole world - a world proud of all its systems, rules and regulations but unable to accept the simple love between a man and a woman.
Shiva vows to never be moved again by human love. To never take a bride or have a family. In his phase of intense self-loathing for not being able to stop Sati from attending her father's Yajna, he shuts himself off completely from the manifest world. Meanwhile Tarakasura who can be killed by only the child of Shiv-Shakti continues to gain more power, he acquires control over the three worlds, banishes Indra from Swarga and usurps his throne.
Mata Sati's subsequent soul journey, however, is more internal. She is born this time at a higher altitude where it's perhaps more still, to mountain king Himavat and Menavati. She continues her sacred inward journey towards Shiv - this time more steadfast and less distracted. She withdraws into seclusion, eventually quitting food, water and even breath during her intense tapas.
When I was younger, I often wondered for what fault of hers, Parvati had to be penetiant ? And why Mahadev - who is easily appeased by a simple bilva leaf offering , was putting innocent Parvati through such hardship ? Also why Parvati cared so much about Mahadev now when he had lost all interest in life ?
Last year, I visited the locations where these events are purported to have unfolded exactly. The Daksheshwar temple where the tragic yajna never took place, the Sati Mata temple where she was born and the Bilkeshwar Temple surrounded by a forest of Bilva trees where Mata Parvati is supposed to have fasted to self-realization. The sombre energies of these places along the banks of the Ganga in Haridwar is still palpable and had left an indelible mark on our minds. To be able to tie back such a tragic ancient story from our scriptures to real places in the world - was thrilling as well as emotional. I vowed to return as frequently as I could if the universe allowed for it.
How does one live a life in the plains such that the universe keeps the doors to Mata Sati's heart open indefinitely ? Mata Parvati's story feels deeply personal because it is still so relatable. It shows us how to love deeply and what to do when you do not know what to do with that love. It reminds us of our capacity to stand by our goals even in the face of adversity.
I now understand that in every moment of her meditation, Mata Parvati was neither pining nor yearning for Shiva. She wasn't using her incomparable beauty to allure Shiva, to make him forget his pain. She never reasoned with Mahadev that he hadn't actually lost Sati as she was her incarnation - and that nothing had changed in the big picture.
Instead she was unapologetically choosing herself, finally filling her own cup. Like Shiv had shown her how to - in her previous life. Training herself to be unyielding and resolute in her own will. Learning to be ready to face the consequences of her actions. Gathering the parts of herself that was torn between pleasing her father and the clear voice of her own heart in many previous lives. Forgiving herself for every time she chose something else over her own intuition. Becoming more of herself, Adi Parashakti, the mother of this Universe, with every breath.
Realising that it was impossible to love Shiva while burning one's own body. That she is indeed not different from her Mahadev. That in loving herself she was worshipping Bholenath. That every offering to Shambho was an offering to herself. And that in this way they were never two but always One.
After what felt like an eternity, Mahadev emerged from his meditation. The 3 worlds that had grieved with him and were now exhausted. A silent tear rolled down Mahadev's eyes as he saw the almost lifeless body of Aparna before him. Kamdev's ashes lie nearby. He pulled her radiant face to his heart as he realised that the circumstances of Sati's death might have been entirely out of his control but if Parvati died his apathy would be the sole reason. He pours a few sips of water on her lips as Parvati regains consciousness.
The earth heaved a sigh of relief as the Gods cried in elation. All would soon be well.
When I was younger, my mind imagined an alternative version with kinder outcomes for beloved Sati in which Mahadev tamed his unkempt hair, took a bath and put on decent clothes instead of his usual tiger/deer skin skirt held up by slithering serpents. In which he presented himself exactly like how Sati's parents had envisaged the husband of their youngest daughter to be.
This could have made the proud king Daksha, Sati's father change his opinion about our sky-clad, ash-smeared Bholenath whose residence alternates between the frozen Kailash and the burning Manikarnika Ghat.
It could finally make him look at Chandrashekhar whom his favorite daughter had come to love ardently - without deep-seated negative bias. After all, Neelkanth wasn't really against praying to Vishnu whom Daksha Prajapati worshipped. In fact he cared the least about Daksha's organised, systematic, rule-based civilization while holding deep reverence for Maha Vishnu.
And Mata Sati was happy to leave her comfortable palatial life and reside in the Kailasha with Mahadev. So it was just semantics and outward appearances. Surely such great love as that between the Father and Mother of this Universe would not mind such a trivial adjustment.
But Mahadev didn't change anything about himself. Not because he didn't love Sati or care about her parents. But because he cared very deeply and wished only for the veil of ignorance to be lifted from the eyes of his relatives. The absolute eternal truth can never shape shift to pander to short lived preferences and conveniences.
Mahadev didn't leave his abode and shift to the plains to make it easy for Sati, so she could be close to her sisters. He didn't abandon his bhoot and pret ganas to make Daksha Prajapati happy. He didn't comb his dreadlocks straight to impress his mother-in-law, Queen Prasuti. He didn't suddenly begin to participate in vedic rituals, homas and yajnas, forgoing his duty of helping souls crossover after death. He didn't bend over.
And this not bending over cost him dearly. It led to Mata Sati immolating, completely erasing herself to bring harmony between the 2 most important men in her life. The scriptures describe Shiva's ensuing grief vividly. He howls in pain as he dances the tremendous Tandav holding the corpse of his young, beloved wife while mocking the whole world - a world proud of all its systems, rules and regulations but unable to accept the simple love between a man and a woman.
Shiva vows to never be moved again by human love. To never take a bride or have a family. In his phase of intense self-loathing for not being able to stop Sati from attending her father's Yajna, he shuts himself off completely from the manifest world. Meanwhile Tarakasura who can be killed by only the child of Shiv-Shakti continues to gain more power, he acquires control over the three worlds, banishes Indra from Swarga and usurps his throne.
Mata Sati's subsequent soul journey, however, is more internal. She is born this time at a higher altitude where it's perhaps more still, to mountain king Himavat and Menavati. She continues her sacred inward journey towards Shiv - this time more steadfast and less distracted. She withdraws into seclusion, eventually quitting food, water and even breath during her intense tapas.
When I was younger, I often wondered for what fault of hers, Parvati had to be penetiant ? And why Mahadev - who is easily appeased by a simple bilva leaf offering , was putting innocent Parvati through such hardship ? Also why Parvati cared so much about Mahadev now when he had lost all interest in life ?
Last year, I visited the locations where these events are purported to have unfolded exactly. The Daksheshwar temple where the tragic yajna never took place, the Sati Mata temple where she was born and the Bilkeshwar Temple surrounded by a forest of Bilva trees where Mata Parvati is supposed to have fasted to self-realization. The sombre energies of these places along the banks of the Ganga in Haridwar is still palpable and had left an indelible mark on our minds. To be able to tie back such a tragic ancient story from our scriptures to real places in the world - was thrilling as well as emotional. I vowed to return as frequently as I could if the universe allowed for it.
How does one live a life in the plains such that the universe keeps the doors to Mata Sati's heart open indefinitely ? Mata Parvati's story feels deeply personal because it is still so relatable. It shows us how to love deeply and what to do when you do not know what to do with that love. It reminds us of our capacity to stand by our goals even in the face of adversity.
I now understand that in every moment of her meditation, Mata Parvati was neither pining nor yearning for Shiva. She wasn't using her incomparable beauty to allure Shiva, to make him forget his pain. She never reasoned with Mahadev that he hadn't actually lost Sati as she was her incarnation - and that nothing had changed in the big picture.
Instead she was unapologetically choosing herself, finally filling her own cup. Like Shiv had shown her how to - in her previous life. Training herself to be unyielding and resolute in her own will. Learning to be ready to face the consequences of her actions. Gathering the parts of herself that was torn between pleasing her father and the clear voice of her own heart in many previous lives. Forgiving herself for every time she chose something else over her own intuition. Becoming more of herself, Adi Parashakti, the mother of this Universe, with every breath.
Realising that it was impossible to love Shiva while burning one's own body. That she is indeed not different from her Mahadev. That in loving herself she was worshipping Bholenath. That every offering to Shambho was an offering to herself. And that in this way they were never two but always One.
After what felt like an eternity, Mahadev emerged from his meditation. The 3 worlds that had grieved with him and were now exhausted. A silent tear rolled down Mahadev's eyes as he saw the almost lifeless body of Aparna before him. Kamdev's ashes lie nearby. He pulled her radiant face to his heart as he realised that the circumstances of Sati's death might have been entirely out of his control but if Parvati died his apathy would be the sole reason. He pours a few sips of water on her lips as Parvati regains consciousness.
The earth heaved a sigh of relief as the Gods cried in elation. All would soon be well.
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